Archive for Wellness
Richard St. John’s 8 secrets of success | Video on TED.com
Posted by: | CommentsWhy do people succeed? Is it because they’re smart? Or are they just lucky? Neither. Analyst Richard St. John condenses years of interviews into an unmissable 3-minute slideshow on the real secrets of success. Click to see video.
50 Best Spiritual Books of 2009
Posted by: | CommentsIn my counseling practice, people often tell me how important spirituality is to them, and how helpful it is not only in dealing with problems, but also in living fully, meaningfully and with satisfaction. Indeed, research has shown that, overall, people who have a spiritual or religious practice tend to cope better and be happier.
If you are interested in expanding or deepening your spiritual practice, you might like this website which I recently found, thanks to a friend. It is called Spirituality and Practice: Resources for Spiritual Journeys. They have a great list of spiritual practices (not traditions) in the right hand column on their home page. They are an interfaith website, with information and ideas from, for and about Catholics, Zen Buddhists, Jews, Muslims and more. They tend to focus on those areas where all the world’s spiritual traditions overlap and agree.
50 Best Spiritual Books of 2009
One article that caught my attention was about 50 Best Spiritual Books of 2009. I encourage you to look the list over. I bet that at least one of the books listed will sound interesting to you. Thank you, Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, for taking the time to review and recommend so many great books.
Every year from the more than 300 books we review on this website, we choose 50 “best spiritual books.” These are the titles that have most impressed and inspired us, and since we only review books that we want to recommend to you for your spiritual journey, this selection actually represents the best of the best.
We have organized this list by a major theme or spiritual practice covered in the book. These headings are just to make it easier for you to find the books you might be most interested in; they are not subcategories of the awards.
Through diverse approaches, drawing upon the wisdom and practices of the world’s religions, these titles explore the quest for meaning and purpose, wholeness and healing, commitment and community, contemplation and social activism.
We congratulate the authors and publishers of these exceptional contributions to today’s spiritual renaissance… (Click to see the list and reviews of the recommended spiritual books.)
Anda Jines MS LCPC offers mental health counseling services in the southwest suburbs of Chicago, in Tinley Park, IL (60477); near Orland Park, Oak Forest, Orland Hills, Palos Heights, Mokena, and Frankfort. Click here for more about Anda Jines MS LCPC.
Inspiring Stories: William Kamkwamba
Posted by: | CommentsLife presents us all with struggles, but they are not equally difficult. Some have to overcome more than others, making their accomplishments all the more meaningful. William Kamkwamba faced very difficult circumstances, and was reportedly surrounded by people who discouraged his creative problem solving. I applaud him for his ingenuity and perseverance. (His accent may be a little difficult to understand at times, but his story still comes across strong and clear.)
Anda Jines MS LCPC offers mental health counseling services in the southwest suburbs of Chicago, in Tinley Park, IL (60477); near Orland Park, Oak Forest, Orland Hills, Palos Heights, Mokena, and Frankfort.
Procrastination
Posted by: | CommentsThose of you who follow my bolg may have noticed that I’ve slowed down a bit on my posts lately. I don’t know about you, but it is my experience that motivation fluctuates. Priorities fluctuate and shift and vie for first place, and there is always something that ends up going undone… at least for the time being. But I’m glad to have found my way back to posting an article today. And what better topic to post about than procrastination!
Motivation Fluctuates
To some extent, fluctuations in motivation and priorities are just a normal and expected part of life. It is important to have flexibility in your goals, tasks and timing. Being overly rigid and perfectionistic is unrealistic and creates unnecessary stress. Priorities and motivation have to shift as circumstances change, as you grow and learn, and as deadlines come and go.
There are even times when your lack of motivation can be a useful signal that what you are doing is not right for you, or that you need to find a new approach to what you are doing. This can help precipitate necessary changes in activities, strategies or even career.
What is Procrastination?
However, there are times when these normal fluctuations cross the line into procrastination. I know I’m procrastinating when my delay in doing a task causes me to fall short of my own standards or expectations, or when it leads to negative consequences. Unfortunately, this can be difficult to recognize when the consequences are long term… like with health related behaviors.
In my work, I often hear about procrastination on chores, paperwork, bills, communication, medical appointments, job hunting, exercise, etc. The key dynamic going on here is people trying to enjoy (or survive) life in the short run, at the expense of their quality of life in the long run.
People actually get quite creative in weaving avoidance out of many mundane day to day activities, as this video shows.
“…Procrastination is watching this video about procrastination.” Unfortunately, people usually don’t enjoy the procrastination process itself, and can be quite miserable in their endless cycles of avoidance behaviors. The misery and despair of feeling stuck in procrastination can further undermine their motivation! For some people, procrastination can become a way of life.
Overcoming Procrastination
The question is not whether you ever procrastinate (I believe all of us do), but rather how you handle it when you do. Some people, when they catch themselves procrastinating, respond by making the avoided task a priority, and by making a plan to get back on track. But how? I’d like to share a few strategies that work best for me, and then give you links to more ideas.
1) Picture Positive Outcomes
Research shows that thinking of the advantages of doing something is much more motivating than focusing on the disadvantages of not doing it. So go ahead and imagine the positive outcomes of your dreaded task. What will you get out of it? How will you feel once it is done? How will this help you in the long run? What will you be able to enjoy because of accomplishing your task? Picture these things in detail, and tap into the positive emotions that this triggers.
2) Be Organized
A calendar, to-do list and reminders can do a lot to keep you on task. It is helpful to rate the importance/urgency of your to-do tasks, and to be specific in your scheduling of tasks. Updating your to-do list daily is key. Being organized also helps you to develop a plan to move towards a long term goal, to be realistic about how much time you have, and to be mindful of your balance between chores and fun.
3) Mindfulness
When practicing mindfulness meditation, the initial task is to catch yourself getting distracted (over and over again), and to bring your attention back to your anchor (over and over again). This is to be done gently, through patient observation, without judgment or guilt about getting distracted. This process, when practiced regularly, improves your ability to focus. The same principle applies to activities. When you catch yourself being distracted, you gently bring yourself back to task, without berating yourself for your distraction. You do this over and over again.
4) Radical Acceptance
The DBT principles of radical acceptance also apply here: a) connect with the willingness within yourself, b) turn your mind toward acceptance, and c) choose to radically accept the situation or task you are faced with. At first, you may have to do this many times in one minute, but with practice it becomes easier. Remember that non-acceptance of painful reality creates an unnecessary layer of suffering on top of the natural pain. Chronic non-acceptance is the same as perpetually fighting with the reality of what is; and makes dealing with that reality much harder.
5) Make It Enjoyable!
Try to make your dreaded task fun! Use your sense of humor, be exaggerated, be creative, make a game of it, picture yourself enjoying it and accomplishing it, think positive and play some good energizing music while you’re at it. Pantomime kicking that procrastination gremlin out of your house. Picture yourself as a superhero who can do anything! Put on a goofy “doing hat,” and tell yourself you have to be productive while wearing it. Set a timer and race against it. Pretend that you are in an opera about yourself, or a dance performance. And don’t forget reward yourself for your efforts.
Or, if you prefer a more relaxed approach, then do your task in slow motion (but do it). Mindfully observe yourself as you get out the things you need, orient yourself to where you left off, and start on the next task. Play soothing music in the background. Breathe slowly and deeply, and know that with each breath you are closer to accomplishing your task for the day. Relax into the process and just take things one small step at a time, knowing that you are doing exactly what you need to be doing.
Additional Tips from Cyberspace
Here’s a video to get you started. Think of this song as being about breaking free of the procrastination gremlin. (Can you think of other songs that motivate you?)
Check out these links for more tips on overcoming procrastination:
10 Techniques to Successfully Overcome Procrastination
overcoming-procrastination.info (look in the left-hand margin first)
Our Need for Beauty
Posted by: | CommentsWe need beauty in our lives
I don’t see this written about very much, but I firmly believe that we all need beauty in our lives. You may encounter it accidentally, as when happening to notice a particularly beautiful sunset or landscape; but generally I think most of us could do more to seek it out. As with any positive experiences, we need to do our part in reaching out towards beauty, as well as recognizing, acknowledging and appreciating it once we do encounter it.
It may be with any of our senses, especially sound and sight, or it may be with our minds or hearts that we perceive beauty. I encounter it on my nature walks, in listening to music, in witnessing kindness, and in contemplating the universe, among others. When is the last time you intentionally sought out beauty? Perhaps you do it every day, even in small ways like appreciating the perfectly balanced cup of tea. Did you know that research has found that people who notice the sky more tend to be happier people? It’s something so simple… so accessible.
Of course, one of the wonderful things about beauty, is when you can share it with someone. Therefore, here are a few moments of beauty for all of you:
Creating Positive Experiences
Posted by: | CommentsI’m back from a brief vacation, and getting back to work. I didn’t go anywhere this time, but chose to explore the Chicago area with my mom (and sometimes with my husband) during her visit. Since moving to Tinley Park, a Chicago suburb, last summer, I have been focused on my counseling work and on settling into my new surroundings. This last week was a great opportunity to explore more of Chicago, including some of the Polish neighborhoods (where I can find foods that remind me of my childhood), downtown, and the beautiful botanic garden. Isn’t it funny how sometimes vacations feel busier than normal life?
Creating positive experiences is fundamental to mental health
I’m telling you this partly to share with you what I’ve been up to, and partly to illustrate a point. The point being that creating positive experiences, and sharing them with loved ones, is a fundamental and necessary aspect of life and happiness. This may seem obvious, but I have been amazed by how many people I have talked to who could not remember the last time they had done something enjoyable, just for the fun of it.
Creating positive experiences is part of emotion regulation
The importance of building positive experiences is emphasized in wellness literature, depression literature, and in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You can’t wait for them to just happen, you have to create them. In doing so, you create a life worth living, and balance out the struggles and problems which are unavoidable.
There are short term positive experiences, like soothing with the five senses, chatting with someone, or enjoying a treat. And there are long term positive experiences, like getting an education, building relationships, working toward goals, or learning a skill. A few tips come to mind:
- Balance the short term and long term positive experiences, and know when it is worth it to sacrifice short term enjoyment for long term benefits.
- Keep in mind that everyone has to start at square one. Building a skill or hobby takes time, and it is important to allow yourself imperfection as you learn.
- Always have something you can look forward to that day or that week… even if it is just a cup of tea at sunset, a walk, or listening to your favorite music.
- Build some fun skills that you enjoy (art, sports, games, etc.), and don’t forget to challenge yourself.
What’s your hobby?
During my vacation I took some photos. This is one of my hobbies, although I am still quite a beginner. It’s fun in the short run, can be challenging, and it becomes even more satisfying as I learn more about it. With today’s digital cameras, it is much more affordable than it used to be when people had to use film. Here are a few of my favorite photos from the botanic garden, which I took during my vacation. The last flower (the pink one) is a photo my mom took.







Extraordinary Life
Posted by: | CommentsI love these wonderfully cheesy videos that remind us what to strive for. Sometimes one line might pop out that connects with something I’m going through right now. Sometimes I might not be in the mood for this sort of video… and that’s exactly when it’s most helpful to watch it! Consider it an injection of a positive attitude into your day.
If you’re looking for counseling and mental health services in Tinley Park, Oak Forest, Orland Park, and the surrounding area, please call 708-429-6999 to set up an appointment or to ask questions. Tinley Park counseling service, Oak Forest counseling service, Orland Park counseling service. Call today.
Anda Jines MS, LCPC, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Offering counseling services in the southwest suburbs of Chicago
What would a real life Barbie look like?
Posted by: | CommentsIn my counseling work, I have a special interest in health related issues. A big issue for many people, which has to do with both physical and mental health, is their weight and appearance. Here is an article from BBC News that talks about the distorted images promoted in our culture, of what women should look like.
Barbie Millicent Roberts is a woman with a very controversial reputation and mostly it stems from her long legs, tiny waist, ample bosom, slender neck and flowing blonde locks.
Some argue her body shape would be unobtainable and unsustainable if scaled up to life-size. They claim she would not be able to stand up because her body frame would be so unbalanced. A real life Barbie would simply fall over. Can this be true? Her maker, Mattel, says … (Click here to read complete article.)
If you’re looking for counseling and mental health services in Tinley Park, Oak Forest, Orland Park, and the surrounding area, please call 708-429-6999 to set up an appointment or to ask questions. Tinley Park counseling service, Oak Forest counseling service, Orland Park counseling service. Call today.
Anda Jines MS, LCPC, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Offering counseling services in the southwest suburbs of Chicago
March on. Do not tarry.
Posted by: | Comments“March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.”
-Kahlil Gibran
This poem from Kahlil Gibran encourages us to have perseverance and to willingly engage life fully, despite life’s risks. In this sense, it matches my post on the fundamentals of happiness.
If you’re looking for counseling and mental health services in Tinley Park, Oak Forest, Orland Park, and the surrounding area, please call 708-429-6999 to set up an appointment or to ask questions. Tinley Park counseling service, Oak Forest counseling service, Orland Park counseling service. Call today.
Anda Jines MS, LCPC, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Offering counseling services in the southwest suburbs of Chicago
