Playful Communication in Relationships


The Importance of Small Day-To-Day Connections

One of the key principles I learned from Dr. John Gottman (a renowned marriage specialist), is the importance of connecting with one’s spouse in small ways but consistently.

A common mistake that couples make is thinking that it’s the special events that will bring them closer… the big vacation, the special date, or the celebrated holiday.  Although such events can meaningfully add to the couple’s shared memories, they are usually not the key to feeling close.

Staying Tuned In

The key to feeling close is much simpler (and perhaps harder).  It is staying tuned in.

  • Do you pay attention and respond when your spouse points out something interesting or funny?
  • Do you take some time to check in after a day apart?
  • Do you know what is going on in your spouses work life, their friendships, and their home life?
  • Are you aware of their current joys and stressors?
  • Do you respond to affection?
  • Do you express appreciation?
  • Can you enjoy their corny jokes?
  • Can you be playful with each other?
  • Are you aware of your partner’s dreams, and do you encourage them?

These are all things that happen in spontaneous day-to-day interactions… interactions that might sometimes only take a few seconds.  These are ways of staying tuned in, so that you feel you are making life’s journey together.

Playfulness in Day-To-Day Interactions

Life can be stressful.  Humor and playfulness can make things more manageable for individuals, so why not for couples?  Here is a very thorough article about playfulness, and how it can be helpful in communication and relationships.  It gives several good tips, and discusses the connection between playful communication and emotional intelligence:

The Power of Laughter, Humor, and Play

Laughter has a powerful effect on your health and well-being. A good laugh relieves tension and stress, elevates mood, enhances creativity and problem-solving ability, and provides a quick energy boost. But even more importantly, laughter brings people together. Mutual laughter and play are an essential component of strong, healthy relationships. By making a conscious effort to incorporate more humor and play into your daily interactions, you can improve the quality of your love relationships— as well as your connections with co-workers, family members, and friends.

Using laughter and play to improve your relationships

Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships exciting, fresh, and vital. Humor and playful communication strengthens our relationships by… (click here to read entire article)

Anda Jines MS LCPC offers mental health counseling services in the southwest suburbs of Chicago, in Tinley Park (60477); near Orland Park, Oak Forest, Palos Heights, Mokena, and Frankfort.

Categories : Relationships

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